Thursday, June 11, 2009
Well... yea... so many questions, so many things.... At this moment, at this point of time, at this place, i just feel so hopeless. like my heart is crying inside of me... i so wanna scream now... coz up till now... i have found nothing to prove to myself that i'm worth something and that i'm worth fighting for...
I told one of my fellow christian friend that we should be role models and tt we have to show ppl that we have that something that others dont have tt is why we are so special. coz that way ppl will wanna know what do we have that they dont and that is God... but as of now, i cant help but to feel really sad... i'm so pressured inside that its affecting myself. even when i'm not even thinking of anything...
well, i'm not going overseas to train anymore... so that is one thing major for now. next is getting my costume and music done... i still have to retake the coach written test plus go for another 2 courses i said i will go with my other 2 friends... oh boy, thats alot of things..
Anyway, if anyone or if God can read this, I really need you here right now... I'm on the edge of breaking and i need a shoulder to cry on... I don need words, just someone... A hug and a shoulder is just fine... i can laugh and joke... but i don sense that happiness there... All i sense is sadness, feeling lost, feeling confused and troubled.. I know that no one cares... that i'm a big gal with a kid like mind tt needs to grow up... to stop being nice to everyone and anyone.. but i just cant help it!! i mean no harm but they just don get it!!!
I wonder if anyone does anymore... Coz i'm starting to lose faith in everyone as i feel they have lost their faith in me.... Afterall i'm just a nobody not trying to be somebody but just trying so hard to be someone....
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to(countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities