Monday, July 20, 2009
wow.. i actually skipped like thursday afternoon plus friday night plus saturday morning training!! thats like 3 trainings plus one sunday off.. maybe tts y my muscles were so much softer and i could use more strength... did qdl today and again smashed my knee and heel..
I still have chills down my spine when i think tt i have to do it... and this few days my stomach not feeling very good.. don know why eat abit then feel full liao, if not then got alot of gas then make me feel like puking... today i really almost puke also during training but then not tt i disgusting but i swallow back... coz its during training then i wasnt fast enough to go toilet so i stand outside the training hall awhile...
I kind of feel my standard is still not there and its really frustrating when you have a gap in between of where u are with ur expectations.. like i train so must, also rest so much.. still cant do 540 wen wen... WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!?!?!
Hai... sigh.... anyway, today one of the teammates cry, probably coz shes tired and her muscles are aching... well i just went through tt so i super understand how u feel... its just tt i told myself tt i'm not going to cry in the training how... well so far it has been successful and somehow i'm not as sad anymore abt the normination...
I would have to say its becoz of my coach... coz he was really really nice and he told me not to be sad.. he said tt u worked hard and everyone can see it... doesnt matter if i don get to go SEA games, now just try to aim and get in for world champs... and also what i want to get or to go SEA is just a matter of time... before tt i went church office and i cried in the youth room when no one was ard coz tt day the results were out and they werent good.. I sms my coach and say i very disappointed and ask him whether i'm even good enough or am i really ust not there....
Till now it really hurts in my heart.. Where do i stand?? How good am I??? Or am i not even good??? I wanna know real real real real badly.. coz when i look at myself, i get so disappointed... coz i feel i'm not anywhere near where i thought i could be at... can anyone tell me heart to heart???
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to(countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities