Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Well, for me i still feel a little tension between everyone.. but i don know how to solve it.. I'm fine with whoever or whatever.. but what i realized is that the person beside u listening must be really someone u trust.. or else whatever u say will be passed on..
When that thing does, i can tell u tt it will be nasty.. but now i remember tt we should not envy ppl who can do their own things. coz one less thing to envy means more happiness. i din really comment or say much but instead i observed.. and tt was when i felt it too..
If no one said it, i would have just let it go and forgotten.. but what my junior said really impacted me right inside.. coz we are new, of coz we are not impt as compared. and tt we need time to accept tt this is life. so come to think of ppl helping, i start to think whether they help me coz they really want to for becoz they have to??
Is my status too low tt i'm being looked down on?? i don know.. i really dont.. now i really understand what is being tired... not tt much of physically but mentally... with so so so many things happening, its so hard to just drop everything.. time is running out.. let along doubt myself of whether i have done my best.. i still don see myself being as good or great.. i think of my competitors.. all so strong..
I cannot help but to think whether i am good enough to compete with them.. I don know if i can bear the pain of smashing my knee and not being able to bend and still having to force it to bend.. i cannot imagine if i were to make a mistake then.. I really wanna be confident.. REALLY!!! but i dont know where to look for it or start... I'm scared...
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to(countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities